![]() ![]() I thought for sure that my junk would be flopping for all to see when I got up, which would have completely defeated the purpose of me trying to cover up in the first place. I slid with such force that, when I fell down, the front part of my g-string had slipped down to about mid-thigh. And at least I’m not the one chasing a naked dude across a field in front of 10,000 people. I remember him saying, “Got you good fucker! Got you!” Man, whoever you are, you didn’t get shit, okay? I fell down and you just sort of laid on top of me. The next thing I knew, my face was in the grass and some security guard was mounted on top of my backside. But in the chaos of the moment, my intoxicated legs just sort of tripped over themselves. We must have read the same Penal Code.Īnyway, by now I had my eyes on the planned escape route. He was wearing a pair of Italian-themed underwear with a printed penis on the front, as if he were purposely hiding his own genitals. To my surprise, another streaker simultaneously jumped on the field with me. The roar of the crowd made me feel like a pro athlete again. Painted on my back were the words “fuck Poly.” And, of course, no tuxedo is complete without a bowtie and cuff links.Īfter stripping both the clothes from my body and the ball from Poly’s keeper, I scored a goal of my own – the only goal of the game, I might add. I also blacked out my eyes, like a raccoon. To conceal my identity, I painted a handlebar mustache and chop sideburns on my face. It was perfect: essentially nude without exposing any genitals. So I dug through my closet and came upon a tuxedo g-string and cuff links, a party boy Halloween costume I had worn previously. In light of that, I decided not to streak in the traditional sense of 100 percent nakedness. However, the California State Penal Code for exposing one’s genitals in public requires that the person convicted register as a sex offender. My friends convinced me to streak during the second half. By the time I finished class around 6:00 p.m., I was trashed and psyched for the game. that day in honor of UCSB’s big soccer game against Cal Poly later that evening. 5, at Harder Stadium I was arrested and hauled to the Santa Barbara County Jail for public intoxication while wearing nothing more than a tuxedo g-string and handcuffs. ![]()
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